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 Forum index » Off-Topic Area » Truly off-topic conversations
Classic Microsoft quotes!
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disciple

Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 7024
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

PostPosted: Wed 13 Jul 2011, 06:44    Post subject:  Classic Microsoft quotes!
Subject description: That have stood the test of time ;)
 

This is mainly to prevent me from posting in the "Classic Puppy quotes" thread every time I get really annoyed with Microsoft, and to make it easy for me to find various information again Wink
Some of the quotes have been copied from that thread.

Microsoft website and forums:

Security: yeah right!
Microsoft wrote:
As with all Microsoft technology, street level imagery and Bing maps were designed with security and privacy concerns in mind.


Support / User-friendly: yeah right!
From a long thread of angry Windows users wrote:
Well, you can't please 100% of the people 100% of the time. However, it would appear you can piss off 100% of the people 100% of the time if you try hard enough.


From a long thread of angry IE users wrote:
Every state that still has a death penalty, should replace it with "stare at IE9 with ClearType for 8 hours a day, for the rest of your life".


From the same long thread of angry IE users wrote:
EVERY time a NEW IE comes out...there are ALWAYS massive problems...which is why I NEVER switch within the 1st 1-2 years of the new IE.


Even when insisting that a long-running bug is a design feature, people at Microsoft believe it is doing something different from what it really is, and don't seem to be able to read, since it was described accurately:
From a long thread of angry IE users wrote:
Support engineer, Steven has stated that "The behavior of Internet Explorer only remembering the very last window closed is by design". I defer to earlier posters here who point out first of all that this is an inaccurate description of IE's behavior (actually IE remembers the last window opened) and others including the OP who accurately explain why the design is annoyingly retrograde and the workarounds are wholly unsatisfactory from a user/customer perspective.


Puppy forum:

user-friendly? yeah right
thane wrote:
I don't think Microsoft has done much to make simple, intuitive apps and operating systems that "just work". It's more like they've added layers of complexity to insulate the user from the computer. Windows isn't a car with an automatic transmission (compared to stick-shift Linux). It's a chauffeured limo with smoked glass. The chauffeur likes to argue with you and every now and then runs off and leaves you stranded with no idea where you are.

http://www.murga-linux.com/puppy/viewtopic.php?p=352180#352180

starhawk wrote:
Microsoft: "Oh, that? We put that bug in there to increase our tech support revenue. Give us $30 and spend two hours talking to a numbskull who doesn't know anything that we don't tell him/her -- and if you're the lucky one today, we'll actually solve your problem for you."


Proof MS Office 2007 is an anti-productivity suite

Windows 7 rant

"Cleartype" rant

User-friendly/just works/reliable? Yeah right
disciple wrote:
"Why is it doing that? Whoever designed this is a moron."
"Why won't this work? It was working five minutes ago and I haven't even done anything since then. I've never had this problem in fifteen years."
"Oh, Microsoft's website has listed that bug ever since they got a website. Restart your computer."
"Why does it look like that? It doesn't look like that on anyone else's computer."
"You're a Word guru. Can you remember where on earth they hide xxx feature these days?"
"Oh, they removed that feature"
"The client just rang up because your file crashes their computer"
"It should be possible to do that on Windows."
"In theory you should be able to do that on Windows, but I'm not keen enough to try myself. It will probably take too much effort."
"My computer broke"
"XXX died"
"This file crashes the program so I need to start all over again"
"What is this?"
"Don't use that - the consensus of the Microsoft MVPs is that it is broken in all versions from Office 95 to Office 2010. It will almost certainly corrupt your document within a couple of days."


disciple wrote:
Quote:
Believe me, there is no incentive to correct non-fatal, lingering bugs.

The "tooltips hidden behind the taskbar" bug was invented when Microsoft first built a taskbar for Windows, way back in 1993 or so. There were (temporary) third-party fixes, but Microsoft's "solution" was "reboot Windows" and the bug was still around until they decided the taskbar was too user friendly and built a rubbish new one for Windows 7... 15 years later.


EDIT I've recently seen reports that Microsoft actually did reimplement this bug when they built the rubbish new taskbar /EDIT

RetroTechGuy wrote:
I just remember that old Micro$oft slogan: What do you want to reinstall today...


Signatures

Quote:
Need a laugh? Remember "Better than Vista" (Windows 7)


http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Linus_Torvalds:

Linux Torvalds wrote:
Microsoft isn't evil, they just make really crappy operating systems.


Linux Torvalds wrote:
A computer is like air conditioning: it becomes useless when you open Windows.

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Classic Puppy quotes

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Last edited by disciple on Sat 17 Jan 2015, 16:08; edited 1 time in total
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mickee


Joined: 08 Feb 2011
Posts: 211
Location: Saskatoon SK Canada, Gateway 5300 Laptop, 600MHz Celeron, 384MB RAM, lucid puppy 5.2 (Full Install)

PostPosted: Wed 13 Jul 2011, 16:23    Post subject: Said the Gates-meister  

"You'll never need more than 64K of memory"
--Bill Gates (circa 1985)
images.jpeg
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images.jpeg


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disciple

Joined: 20 May 2006
Posts: 7024
Location: Auckland, New Zealand

PostPosted: Thu 21 Jul 2011, 01:02    Post subject:  

I got a good one today:

http://wer.microsoft.com/responses/Response.aspx/1485/en-us/5.1.2600.2.00010100.3.0?SGD=2f1b85ed-bbc8-4e47-8443-ced96dcd9edf wrote:
This problem occurred because Microsoft Internet Explorer, which was created by Microsoft Corporation, was slow or unresponsive.

This type of problem occurs when a program is slow or has stopped responding and you choose to shut it down. This is also referred to as an application hang. Most of the time, there's nothing you could have done to prevent this type of error, but there are some troubleshooting steps you can try.

Troubleshooting
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


It's hard to determine exactly what causes Internet Explorer to stop responding,

Perhaps the fact that it was created by Microsoft, as mentioned above?
Quote:
but it's usually due to one of the following reasons:

Yeah right Smile Didn't they just say most of the time there's nothing I could have done to prevent the error?
Quote:
Spyware, adware, or other malicious software. If you have downloaded free software from the Internet, you might have inadvertently downloaded spyware with it. Spyware is software that can display advertisements (such as pop-up ads), collect information about you, or change settings on your computer, usually without your permission.
Internet Explorer add-ons: Add-ons are software that add features or tools (an Internet toolbar for example) to Internet Explorer.
Computer viruses: If your computer has a virus, the virus can cause Internet Explorer to stop responding.

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Classic Puppy quotes

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puppyluvr


Joined: 06 Jan 2008
Posts: 3512
Location: Chickasha Oklahoma

PostPosted: Thu 21 Jul 2011, 01:34    Post subject:  

“There are people who don't like capitalism, and people who don't like PCs. But there's no-one who likes the PC who doesn't like Microsoft.”
Bill Gates

"Windows is the official name (not just a synonym) for a user-subjugating, proprietary operating system developed by Microsoft. In 1992, GNU/Linux made it possible for the first time to use a PC and keep your freedom."
Richard Stallman

"I don't try to be a threat to Microsoft, mainly because I don't really see MS as competition. Especially not Windows, the goals of Linux and Windows are simply so different."
Linus Torvalds

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WindUpToy


Joined: 21 Oct 2008
Posts: 89
Location: melbourne.au Slick525DVD

PostPosted: Thu 21 Jul 2011, 17:50    Post subject: Classic Microsoft quotes!  

Quote:
This problem occurred because Microsoft Internet Explorer, which was created by Microsoft Corporation


They couldn't lie straight in bed!

Exploder was created by FTP Software and based on NCSCA Mosaic, the forerunner to Netscape, which already had market dominance.

As MS is abhorrent of paying royalties to anybody, they leased it for a year before buying the company and closing it down.
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disciple

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PostPosted: Fri 22 Jul 2011, 01:46    Post subject:  

http://social.technet.microsoft.com/Forums/en-US/w7itproui/thread/a44e74a1-20cd-4924-8f2b-3e6b688f1ad7 wrote:
Windows 7 - making simple tasks deceptively complicated again.

6 steps to do what took 1 in XP. That's an UPGRADE... change you can believe in!

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disciple

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PostPosted: Sun 24 Jul 2011, 06:11    Post subject:  

More about the anti-productivity suite, from an "MVP" "obsessed with all things excel":
http://peltiertech.com/WordPress/format-all-series-the-same/ wrote:
However, in Excel 2007, the ... functionality has been eviscerated... This is one of the productivity-sapping changes I have discussed in the past.

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disciple

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PostPosted: Fri 16 Sep 2011, 06:20    Post subject:  

Today I created a text file which I can't "Save as" in Notepad:
Quote:
Common Dialog error (0x3002)

!@#$#@!

Windows is so useless you can't even depend on Notepad to work reliably.
How many years have they been shipping Notepad for?

EDIT
Oh, I see. In my case this is due to "we (MS) don't like filenames without an "extension", so we will support them some of the time, the rest of the time failing, usually silently, but sometimes with a meaningless error message."
I don't think this was the problem with most of the pages I saw when I googled the error though...

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disciple

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PostPosted: Mon 26 Sep 2011, 23:37    Post subject:  

http://anarchic-order.blogspot.com/2011/02/when-net-was-young.html wrote:
Microsoft?!?! People STILL use Microsoft software?!?!?

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starhawk

Joined: 22 Nov 2010
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PostPosted: Tue 27 Sep 2011, 01:42    Post subject:  

Wow, I love being quoted Very Happy makes me happy, lol.

That said, I do believe the best thing to do with Windows, is, well, throw it out of one Wink Seriously, they don't know how to code for crap and apparently they're either paid too little or too much (depending on the person) to give a **** about how useful their product is.

Of course, they still basically own the world. As in: what happens if Mr. Gates decides to tell the US Gov't, "I'm sorry, but I don't like you anymore, and I will not have you as our customers, anymore, either." OH S*** SON Shocked

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faifpuhp


Joined: 22 Sep 2011
Posts: 97

PostPosted: Tue 27 Sep 2011, 02:51    Post subject:  

starhawk wrote:
they don't know how to code for crap


They know exactly how to code for crap: setup code sweatshops and don't let users examine the code or have it fixed.

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disciple

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PostPosted: Mon 19 Dec 2011, 01:39    Post subject:  

A signature I saw on the Arch forum:
Quote:
The day Microsoft makes a product that doesn't suck, is the day they make a vacuum cleaner.

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puppyluvr


Joined: 06 Jan 2008
Posts: 3512
Location: Chickasha Oklahoma

PostPosted: Mon 19 Dec 2011, 02:08    Post subject:  

Very Happy Hello,
LOL I like that one..

I still like:
"A computer is like air conditioning,
it is useless once you open the Windows"

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Adagio

Joined: 06 May 2011
Posts: 126
Location: TerraAustralis

PostPosted: Mon 19 Dec 2011, 02:41    Post subject:  

If you want a diversion go here..

http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Windows
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disciple

Joined: 20 May 2006
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PostPosted: Mon 19 Dec 2011, 06:48    Post subject:  

Last week I saw a window in Outlook 2003 where they couldn't even spell "Microsoft".
Too bad I wasn't thinking fast enough to take a screenshot Wink

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