"Computer Stupidities"

For stuff that really doesn't have ANYTHING to do with Puppy
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Mike Walsh
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"Computer Stupidities"

#1 Post by Mike Walsh »

Afternoon, all. Just thought some of you might find this amusing....

One of our Advisors over at BleepingComputer posted about this a while back, and I've only just come across the thread in question. It's a collection of the silliest, dumbest things that the average Joe/Jane has done with his/her computer, as related by various engineers/tech support staff over perhaps the last 30 years or so.

It's called, appropriately enough, 'Computer Stupidities'..!

http://rinkworks.com/stupid/

Some people really should never be allowed anywhere near machinery. Of ANY kind. For everybody else's safety, if nowt else..... :shock: :lol: :lol:

Enjoy.


Mike. :wink:
Last edited by Mike Walsh on Sat 09 May 2020, 18:57, edited 1 time in total.
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musher0
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#2 Post by musher0 »

Great page, Mike_Walsh. Thanks. :lol:
Excerpt:
Customer: "I don't want one of those systems based on the cellulite processor."
ROFL
musher0
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Mike Walsh
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#3 Post by Mike Walsh »

@ musher0:-

One of my favourites has to be this one in the 'memory' section....
"A woman brought her Macintosh LC520 into my shop to have more memory added. This was all fine, but she said she the computer kept running out of memory at startup. I found this to be rather interesting and decided to fire it up at the counter while she watched.

After plugging in the computer to the wall and a keyboard and mouse I hit the power button. The computer sounded to life and the screen lit with the "Welcome to Macintosh" box on screen. This was immediately replaced by the Mac/OS picture and a status bar that was progressing as the extensions loaded. As the bar approached the end she said, "See the memory is all full." I looked at her rather confused and asked where she would have gotten that idea. Apparently one of the know-nothings at the local computer superstore had said that that was what the progress bar meant.

Needless to say she was rather angry at them for the erroneous information. She ending up not buying the RAM but was thankful for our good service."
And then there's this:-
"Years ago, I once worked at a large sugar refinery on the east coast of the United States, operated by a company that is a household word. The refinery had a plant manager in his seventies. He had an enormous distrust of computers. "They make mistakes," you know.

While I was there, we were engaged in updating and automating the factory floor. He only grudgingly accepted PLC's (Programmable Logic Controllers, an industrial hardened computer with no hard drive, programmed in a boolean language used for robotics and automation).

PC's were still new, the early PLC's were programmed with a dumb terminal. When the OEM's developed PC software to program the PLC, one engineer sneaked in a then state-of-the-art 286 machine on a capital project. He told the plant manager it was the programming terminal for the new PLC controlled equipment he was installing.

When the plant manager found out it was also a computer, he went ballistic and ordered it returned. The engineer, in a Dilbert-inspired reply, told the plant manager he couldn't return the computer because he had already used some of the memory."

There's plenty more gems where those came from.....! :lol:


Mike. :wink:
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Mike Walsh
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#4 Post by Mike Walsh »

Or how about this one?
"Customer: "You people owe me a new computer."
Tech Support: "You're having trouble with your computer? What seems to be the problem?"
Customer: "Well, I bought some memory from you people, and ever since I installed it into my computer, it's been doing nothing but making grinding noises, and nothing works anymore!"
Tech Support: "Grinding noises?? It shouldn't be doing that!"
Customer: "I know that! That's why you people owe me a new computer, and I'm going to charge you for lost downtime and my inconvenience."

Grinding noises from SIMMs? This was a new one.

Tech Support: "Sir, did you install those chips yourself or did someone do it for you?"
Customer: "I'm not an idiot! I did it myself. I put them right in that slot in the front of the computer, smart aleck."


Image

And this one's brilliant:-
Overheard in a software shop:

Woman #1: "What this Linux thing?"
Woman #2: "It's a program that if you have it on your computer, you can't turn the computer off."
Woman #1: "Oh."
:shock: :shock: :roll: :lol:


Mike. :wink:
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bigpup
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#5 Post by bigpup »

You must be smarter than the equipment you are operating!

Check out the ones for tech support getting it all wrong and the dumb stuff they come up with. :roll:
Last edited by bigpup on Sat 09 May 2020, 19:19, edited 1 time in total.
The things they do not tell you, are usually the clue to solving the problem.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older.... This is not what I expected :shock:
YaPI(any iso installer)
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musher0
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#6 Post by musher0 »

As the 1980's proverb went:
"To err is human. To really foul things up, you need a computer."
:lol:
BTW, isn't that greengeek's avatar? :)
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#7 Post by musher0 »

bigpup wrote:You must be smarter than the equipment you are operating!
Nah. That's BS! ;)
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bigpup
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#8 Post by bigpup »

OK.
What is the any key?

When some direction says to press any key!
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Any_key

Ask a IT support.
https://words.usask.ca/anykey/2013/09/2 ... e-any-key/
The things they do not tell you, are usually the clue to solving the problem.
When I was a kid I wanted to be older.... This is not what I expected :shock:
YaPI(any iso installer)
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musher0
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#9 Post by musher0 »

.
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Moose On The Loose
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#10 Post by Moose On The Loose »

Silly things I have seen:

Long long ago someone stapled the program's output to the floppy disk.

Someone once said that they couldn't give me a file because it was "in Windows".

Someone deleted a lot of "unneeded files" and then the computer would not work.

I saw someone zoom in and in on a JPEG and complain that the thing shown had to have been faked and his proof was the "extra edges" on the object.

I saw someone install Windows-10 on a perfectly good computer.
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Packetteer
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#11 Post by Packetteer »

Hi All
You all must have heard the Tech support phone call about how the user
broke their computer's "cup holder". Of course the cup holder the idiot was
referring to was the CD drive.

Best Regards
John
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